30 Years ago – May 1991

May 1991 was a hectic – and traumatic month. One of my sisters experienced a mid-term miscarriage, my husband started a new job (carrying boxes increased his back problem), I was juggling 2 projects for the first half of the month requiring frequent travel to Atlanta, my daughter was exhibiting some ‘terrible twos’ behavior a few months before she was 2 (deciding she didn’t like baths, sometimes refusing to feed herself, taking off at her fastest run across a cemetery, grabbing my glasses from my face), and my computer monitor failed making it impossible to work at home for a few days until we made an emergency purchase of a new one.

On the positive side – my daughter was loving the outdoors. In the early part of the month, she thoroughly explored the back yard – smelling the roses, feeling the branches of the willow sweep over her, and picking some chives flowers to bring inside.

The later part of the month was dry enough that I turned on the sprinkler to water the yard one afternoon….not anticipating how thrilled my daughter would be. She immediately went to play in the spray. It was her first experience with a sprinkler.

Some other firsts that month for her: riding the train at Wheaton Park and an escalator. One of her books had an escalator and she was excited to see and ride a real one.

I was writing letters to family on my computer but sending them snail mail. The books I was reading (airplane rides were prime reading time for me) were mostly used books. I noticed a young child waiting for the bus and worried that my daughter would be doing that in a few years.

Even with all the things that happened over the course of the month – by the end things were looking good for June: husband was settled into new job, one of my projects was done so there was only one ongoing, and we expected visits from 2 of my sisters in June (separate weeks so not an overwhelming prospect!).

30 years ago – April 1991

After the flurry of guests that we had in March 1991, we were back to being on our own in April….new challenges. My daughter was at a temporary family day care during the day for most of the month; it seemed to be working well but I rejoiced that not only did she remember her original day care provider after several weeks away, but she seemed thrilled to be back in that situation by the end of the month.

My husband was in the process of moving from Johns Hopkins to Applied Physics Lab for his work. It was a big ‘win’ in terms of work and a much shorter commute for him. We made a weekend trip to his Johns Hopkins office to move some items like plants and files. The heavier books were already on the way to the new office. We might have been the only people in the building. My daughter enjoyed pushing her stroller unimpeded in the hallways.

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I was traveling to Atlanta frequently for work and by the end of the month was quickly getting to a stopping point on that project so that I could start the next one which would involve a longer commute. There was an announcement about a ‘work from home’ pilot and I wondered if I would be able to participate to avoid the long commute at least one day a week.

The trips to Atlanta – sometimes done in a long day (intense meetings in the middle) – were the first travel I’d done for work since my daughter was born. It felt odd to be so far away from her. At the same time – I savored the quiet time on the plane - enjoying good books. I was using a card I’d received from my Grandmother as a bookmark. It took some effort to carry enough reading material with me on those trips….it made the briefcase heavy since this was well before electronic books!

It also seemed like there were more letters exchanged that April – mostly with family. Everyone seemed to have a busy month – travel to San Francisco for a class, 2 people moving, another getting pregnant, ducklings escaping their enclosure to make friends with dogs, and birthday celebrations. Reading about the flurry of activity was quite a contrast with our lives this year during the pandemic and, to a lesser extent, without the challenge of careers. There were lots of comments about how pretty the spring trees and flowers were; that hasn’t changed.

30 years ago – March 1991

The event of March 1991 that I remember without looking back at my notes of the month was my dad turning 60 years old. My notes helped fill in the details. He and my mother flew from Texas to Maryland to spend a week with us; 6 red balloons, a pair of Rockport dress shoes and a pecan praline ice cream cake were some ‘special’ things for the celebration. My 18-month-old daughter thoroughly enjoyed the week with them and the addition of the turtle sandbox to her ‘things to do outside.’ She enjoyed it just after it was purchased while it was still indoors – getting face to face with it (also note – one bare foot…the other with the shoe still on in the picture).

My husband and I benefited from the emotional support from that week. Both of us were going through work and health anxieties that improved over the next few months but peaked in March.

My daughter was facing challenges from us encouraging her to walk more on her own (even up and down stairs) and the beginning of ‘potty training.’ She wanted to be outside as much as possible. She still liked to pick up leaves to carry around while she explored.

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She was not talking well but increasingly more opinionated about what she wanted (and didn’t). She enjoyed carrying around her toys and dancing. The family day care provider commented that she enjoyed dancing so much that once she started…all the other children danced with her.

Near the end of the month – while my parents were visiting, my family day care provider let me know that her mother who had been with her for the past 6 months had died and that the day care would be closed for the next few weeks. I quickly found other day care for the interim; the visit of my parents helped the temporary transition to the other day care. I’ll always be glad that my daughter had the attention of the older woman for those few months…extra attention and cuddles are so important for young children (and often an joy of older adult to provide). When I arrived to get my daughter in the afternoons, it always seemed like she was either being held by or standing close to the older woman; when they made eye contact it was obvious: they had a special bond.

And now – moving ahead 30 years – my dad will be celebrating his 90th birthday! Hopefully, the pandemic situation will improve with more vaccinations and I’ll be able to see him soon.

30 Years Ago – October 1990

Looking back through pictures and notes from 30 years ago – it was a happy month…but full of big changes that my family handled better than we’d anticipated. I went back to work full time…straight into to proposal team that required full time in the office plus some work at home time. I had just set up an office of my own at home the month before…was still using the IBM PC AT that was over 5 years old. My daughter was already trying to help. Note that I didn’t have a rolling chair yet. We purchased two that month for my husband and I (evidently after the picture was taken) and we still have them!

My planning wasn’t perfect, but it was good enough that we all felt like things were going well. I made pumpkin muffins several times during the month since they were tasty snacks (or mini-meals) that we all enjoyed. And made meal plans each week for my daughter’s lunches packed for day care and our dinners.

My husband and I were thrilled that she took her first steps with us rather than in day care late in September…and then she was off and climbing. Even though we thought we had baby-proofed the house…but we had typical calamities of her running into her indoor tree house face first, hitting her head on the foot board of the bed while climbing up, and almost tilting over the back of her little rocking chair.

We all enjoyed the fall foliage day trip to Catoctin with her riding in the backpack more than walking around. When we got her out to walk around in the leaves, they were deep enough to be at least knee deep for her…and she didn’t want to move around in them!

I was busy making the rounds of yard sales to stock up on larger clothes for her and found some bargains. Most of her clothes were bought used but I couldn’t resist a new green velveteen dress with a big white color that she wore for several holiday pictures in the coming months…and it got handed down to her cousins after it got too small for her…and probably sold at a yard sale 10 years or so later.

The Grandcat

We haven’t officially met my daughter’s cat yet; he became our ‘grandcat’ during the pandemic (no way for us to make the trek from Maryland to Missouri during this time). Here are some annotated pictures that my daughter has shared with us over the past month – every one of them a little positive tweak to the day. Enjoy the cat pictures!

My morning coffee companion

I am probably supposed to be doing something

Someone pounced on a tote bag

Someone is going to have to explain to his students why their papers got crinkled

Working at his desk

At his standing desk

This dude flying in the sky. Or laying on a yoga mat

Opened my eyes to this dude this morning

He was waiting on the end table on my side of the bed. But he had been curled up against me most of the night. Right now he had made a nest on me in the futon.

Dun dun, dun dun

Cat thermometer says its cold

Lounging on me right now

Cat on his throne

TV cat

He wants me awake so he can snooze on me

Unique Activities for Yesterday:

Blackberry Looper Moth. I finally remembered the little moth I captured in my office a few days ago….and used iNaturalist to identify it: a Blackberry Looper Moth. It’s small but a pretty shade of green with whitish markings. It probably came into my office on one of the flowers from the CSA cutting garden. My picture is magnified enough to see the antennae clearly; they are not ‘feathery’ so it is a female.

30 years ago – September 1990

30 years ago – in September 1990 – my daughter passed her 1-year mark and a few weeks later started to walk rather than cruise. The transition from taking few steps/walking while holding onto something to walking all the time happened on a single day and we took lots of pictures. She even started carrying things in her hands on that day (her favorite being a blanket). She also figured out a way to get on our bed without help – by using the foot board as a step up and then a leg up and over. She might have been motivated by the books that were in the headboard since the first thing she did once she was on the bed was to pull them all out to look at. The cat patiently supervised.

She was speaking in single words…mostly people or food. A day or so after she started walking, she kept repeating ‘book’ as we came into the house from her day care….and she insisted on going up to her bedroom….where she immediately went to the stack of books we had by our rocking chair and pulled out the book she wanted….sat down to look at it. She must have been thinking about it as we drove home.

I had been gradually increasing my work hours during the month and had my full-time assignment that would start October 1. I was making plans for some family travel over Thanksgiving…but concerned that my new assignment had the potential to be in crunch mode at the same time. I was trying to not get too anxious but had not quite acclimated to the mom and career duality. The ‘Sally Forth’ comic strip was becoming my role model of the type relationship my daughter and I would have as she got older….maybe.  

My husband was being supportive…helping more with our daughter and setting up an office for me. This was the time that we went from 1 home computer to 2. I had the best room in the house for my office (a view of our front yard trees from the window).

Unique Activities for Yesterday:

Haze at 30,000 feet. We are having hazy skies in Maryland from smoke created by the fires in California! Evidently the jet stream is carrying the smoke across the northern part of the US. By the time it gets here, it is a thin layer and high enough to not cause air quality issues. We can tell it’s a sunny day because there are shadows on our yard…but the sky is not blue.

30 Years Ago – July 1990

30 years ago, in July 1990, we made our first trip to Watkins Glen State Park in New York. Our daughter was the perfect size to enjoy the Gorge Trail in a back carrier. My husband and I traded off climbing up the stairs. She enjoyed putting her hands in the water falling from overhead ledges and was excited with the larger amount of water when the trail went behind a waterfall.

Staying in a hotel was exciting for her too. She was not walking yet but pulling up frequently. Being in a strange bed for the night made it hard for her to fall asleep…but she still woke up at her regular early time (6 AM).

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I was working three days a week and beginning to realize how hectic things were going to be working full time in the fall. I felt pulled in a lot of directions and exhausted on some days. It helped to have the house cleaners come every week rather than every other week and have my husband help clean up after dinner….but I was still somewhat anxious about the transition.

My daughter was easier and harder to feed all at the same time. She liked peanut butter and rice cake ‘sandwiches’ and finger foods….but also was being very clear about the things she didn’t like. We were trying to encourage more solid foods, but she was a baby that liked her formula/milk.

She was getting more coordinated at more than eating. She liked to drop things over the side of her play pen…and then indicate that she wanted them back.

Overlaid on everything was the evidence that my rearranging in May and June to make the house safe for the baby was paying off…even though I was still making tweaks…discovering some areas I hadn’t thought about before. She found the cat door to the basement stairs very quickly; I opted to block the opening since it appeared that she would be able to wiggle through it.

The muffin/cake pans, the skillets and plasticware were perfect height for her inspection. I hadn’t thought about the scattering of items on the kitchen floor….and having to always clean them right before use. I decided to put some baby latches on some of the cabinets but the drawer under the stove was always available for her to open.

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I padded the brick hearth with an old area run and some cushions. The cat liked the arrangement as much as the baby did.

I was preparing for my sister’s family to visit in August; her daughter is a week older than mine and they were both coming up on the 1 year mark.

My parents were in the process of buying a new house…a local move in the Dallas area. And they are still living in that house today!

Overall – a month that our family rolled with the changes of developing child and my going back to work…building our resilience to cope with the anticipated challenge of me going to full time work in the fall.

Ten Little Celebrations – February 2018

February 2018 has been busier than usual for me than in previous years since ‘graduation’ from my career (that does sound better than ‘retirement’!). The activity that caused that was the day long HoLLIE (Howard County Legacy Leadership Institute for the Environment) classes once a week. I celebrated 1) after the first one – realizing what a rich learning experience the institute was going to be – and after 2) after the second week when we are at Goddard learning about how and what satellites help us understand the Earth…and having the serendipity add on to the class seeing the big rock with dinosaur and early mammal tracks. I could have counted all 4 days as ‘celebrations’ but decided to choose some other items to add variety to this post.

I celebrated seeing 3) 2 kinds of woodpeckers within about 10 minutes from my office window: pileated and downy and 4) the springtime tussling of male cardinals in the maple tree while the female looked on and stayed out of the way (a sign that winter in waning already).

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The old crock pot being replaced by 5) an Instant Pot was a little celebration (because of immediate success using it) and continuing.

Usually I don’t find anything to celebrate in the news…but the 6) successful launch of the Falcon Heavy was something to celebrate. It’s great that there is a heavy lift capability available - a capability we need to further our exploration of space.

Several things came together this month – focusing my attention on how much I’ve enjoyed being a 7) Maryland Master Naturalist…I celebrated the 4-year journey.

I vicariously shared some of my daughter’s experiences this month – 8) celebrating her post doc – teaching – and ‘what next’ search. It’s invigorating to understand how full her life is --- how much we still share so easily.

The weather after mid-month has turned very mild here in Maryland. Earlier I celebrated 9) enough snow to be pretty and that I had 10) no commitments and could stay home on the day it turned icy.