My Parents’ House

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Once the decision was made in mid-December with my parents to move to an assisted living group home, I found myself examining the house that that had called home for more than 30 years – the last home they would own…the only one that didn’t still have a mortgage when they moved. The contents documented the whole of their lives.

The creation of the garden room not long after they moved into the house was a project that added more than space to the house.

The space was lined with house plants (some that had grown quite large) and had great light. The jigsaw puzzle table was there…a rocker and glide…and a transport chair that was easily maneuvered into a sunny spot to observe birds outside at the feeder or read the paper. The glide, puzzle table, and transport chair were moved to the assisted living group home.

The large plant in the foreground of the picture with the transport chair is one that grew up into the skylight of the garden room over the decades. My sister had brought it home from her work when an office closed. It bloomed in December (something it had done rarely over the years)…to the joy of my parents and the whole family. My sister has now managed to move it (in a U-Haul truck) to her house about an hour away; we were all relieved that it survived the trek intact.

A clay pot that another sister made was in the corner of my parents bedroom holding a collection of peacock feathers and dried seed pod/flowers….a suncatcher. My mother selected it as something to move with her – perhaps because of the memories of each item and the vase itself. Peacock feathers are special in my family because my maternal grandparents kept peacocks in their later years.

Back in the garden room a small poinsettia purchased recently sat on the windowsill. The second image is my favorite artsy image of December 2023! The pot was small enough for the windowsill at the assisted living group home so it moved with my parents.

We are now in the phase of sifted though everything in the house….taking a little more to my parents, distributing items to family members and my parents’ friends, donating some items….recycling and trash are the last resort. There are ups and downs to the work. It is giving us time to internalize the pivot point in my parents’ lives (and our own).

Ramping up Elder Care – January 2024

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A lot has happened since I wrote the December chapter of ‘Ramping up Elder Care.’ The assisted living group home we initially found ended up not having space…so we looked at several others and settled on one that was probably better than the one we found in their neighborhood in every way but the location. When we took our parents to see their new home the day before the move, one was optimistic…the other one was silent but attentive.

The focused activity was intense to get them moved just before the end of 2023. Our strategy to have a night time caregiver in their home during December and then move them to assisted living worked….but it was more challenging that we anticipated.

  • The nightly caregivers were not consistent; we had over 5 people that handled the overnight shift during the month. Almost all of them slept for part of the night. One was very talkative. One was not very helpful. One got sick and had to leave early.

  • We opted to have two rooms for them in the assisted living group home – one for sleeping and the other for a private living room. It seems to be working well – better than having one larger room. There are 6 other people living in the assisted living group home.

  • Our parents had a lot of clothes that had accumulated over the years. Some no longer fit but one of them insisted that most were moved to assisted living.

  • There were a lot of toiletries. We opted to not take any that had dust on them! It was a harder than expected job to pack up what they would need.

  • My dad had to transition from a safety razor to an electric….which he hated.

  • My mother only began to stabilize on her meds toward the end of the month. For a few days we thought we might have to continue to give her two of her medications rather than transitioning those medications to the assisted living facility staff but it stabilized just before the big move. Physically, she made progress with the help of an excellent occupational therapist and the suggestion from a physical therapist to try massage boots for the edema in her feet and lower legs (OK’d by her vascular surgeon)

  • We celebrated their 71st wedding anniversary with special visits from family members and great food for the whole week before the move. It was joyous…but also stressful to get the visits scheduled at good times for everyone and to eat all the excellent leftovers!

  • One sister handled financies, another handled medical transition, another focused on evaluating what would need to be done with the contents of the house and sheds; I focused on my parents’ needs since I was in the house with them those last few weeks. Everyone helped pack up what needed to go on moving day….and it was still chaotic and stressful.

  • In retrospect…moving on the Friday before a holiday weekend was not the best decision because the staffing at the assisted living was reduced over the weekend and they had no time to learn to supply thickened liquids required by one of our parents (so we ended up supplying them for the weekend).

And now, as I write this, I am home in Missouri….monitoring via the cameras we’ve installed in their rooms at the assisted living but otherwise trying not to interfere as they get acclimated to their new surroundings.

The next stage is getting their house ready to sell. I’ll be back in Carrollton in mid-January for that project; hopefully I’ll be rested and ready to work by then! And my parents will be adjusted to the big move from their home to the assisted living group home.

Previous posts: November 2023, November 2023 update, December 2023

Last Sunrise of 2023

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I was in my parents’ house alone on the last day of 2023. They had already moved to assisted living (more on that in the monthly ‘ramping up elder care’ post coming soon) and the first round of distribution of the furniture had occurred: to their new home, to the rest of the family. It felt odd to be there without them and without the jumble of possessions that had been there for over 30 years. The beauty of the sunrise changed the trajectory of my mood for the better!

I loved the color caught in the line of trees visible from the backyard. I took several zoomed images. I think the last one is my favorite.

It occurred to me that the prettiest sunrises are not the ones the occur on a clear morning…it takes some clouds to catch/reflect the light. Maybe that is a good analogy for life too – that complexity and challenge make life better!

123 Years Ago

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One of my grandfathers was born 123 years ago today. He died in the mid-70s…the first of my grandparents to be born…and the first to die. I find myself thinking about him and my other grandparents every year on his birthday; somehow it was the easiest of my grandparents’ birthdays to remember. The last one died in 2010.

As I’ve been thinking a lot about elder care recently, I’m realizing that only one of my grandparents died at home; two of them died in a hospital and the other one died in a rest home. Two of them lived with my mom and dad as they got older (my siblings and I were in the same house during the early years); the other two benefited from adult children that lived nearby. They were all the first generation to benefit from Social Security.

As I think of myself growing older, I realize that what happened with my grandparents…and now my parents…is a model of possibilities for my own future as an elderly person.

Another thread thinking about my grandparents…recognizing a different perspective of history and how it impacted them – or not. None of them got the 1918 flu….none fought in World War II. They lived in small towns or farms; the Great Depression did not cause them food shortages. The big elements of history impacted them but not as significantly as many other people.

Only one graduated from high school. The others barely got an elementary education. They could all read…newspapers and magazines, some books. They successfully managed their own financies. Both grandfathers ‘retired’ early but continued to be very active either with part time jobs or building up the family home place.

Overall – the family history is full of memories to savor…realizing that they light my path into the future too.  

Ten Little Celebrations – December 2023

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December has been one of the most unusual (and stressful) of my life. Along with all the upheaval – there were still little celebrations to notice and savor.

Completion of a construction project. Big machinery digging in the street/sidewalk, the alleyway, and backyard of my parents house. The city was replacing an old sewer pipe. It was interesting to watch…although there were a few anxious moments too. We all celebrated when they finished within the 3 days they’d estimated for the project!

A warm day to mow the leaves. The leaves didn’t really begin to fall in Carrollton TX until December. We celebrated a warm day to mow them into the yard.

Crystalized ginger, big peppermint sticks. I savored special foods from the past that I haven’t eaten as much in recent years. I bought the crystalized ginger and a sister provided 6 of the big barber pole peppermint sticks. I started the celebration of my birthday early!

Red velvet cake. When I was growing up, my usual birthday cake was red velvet cake – made by my mother. This year one of sisters and her husband discovered a diner that had an excellent version of the cake – and bought me two pieces – which I enjoyed 2 days in a row prior to the actual birthday!

A break. My other sister came to make lunch for my parents and I took a break away from my parents’ house. I went to a small café for brunch and they had a special: birthday pancakes! I opted to get that special (another early birthday celebration) and thoroughly enjoyed it. Then I walked (and took pictures of birds) around Josey Ranch.

December celebrations. My birthday is just one of the normal December celebrations in my family. There is also my parents’ anniversary (their 71st) and Christmas! It’s always a hectic month…full of family visits.

Good sleep. I usually sleep well but it has not been as consistent this month….so I celebrated a particularly good night!

Fall foliage of crape myrtles. I’d never noticed crape mytles in the fall before. At my parents the conditions must have been just right for them to turn from green and hold their leaves this year. I celebrated how great they looked with the leaves and seed pods.  

Finding assisted living. Change is hard. We had moments of discovery and panic…celebrated finding an assisted living group home for my parents and then realizing that the details required another burst of energy. As I write this we are all celebrating how much we have accomplished with our combined efforts.

Daughter arriving. My daughter came for my birthday and the anniversary. She took me out for Ethiopian food to celebrate my birthday!

December 2023….what a cresendo for the year!

Savoring a Holiday

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December has always been full of celebrations in my family – a birthday, an anniversary, the holidays. We are thinking back at all those celebrations this year as we savor the last one with my parents in their own home. To avoid exhausting/overwhelming my parents, we have extended the celebrations with family members coming to visit over the entire month rather than what had been our tradition in years past (large gatherings with huge amounts of food). They eat small meals now…but we’ve tried to include special foods from years past – eggnog, roast, turkey, Waldorf salad, cherry pie….maybe some mincemeat with  ice cream rather than a pie.

When my sisters and I were young, my parents allowed us to open a Christmas present each day between the birthday and Christmas. The new things on Christmas morning were from Santa. My maternal grandmother was the one that did the desserts and breads that I remember most from my childhood…raisin buns, kolaches…too a lesser extent cobblers and pies.

In the late 1980s, me and my sister shared the news that we were both pregnant with the first grandchildren in December. The babies were born a week apart the next year and I travelled to Maryland that December with my daughter (her first time on a plane). My grandmother was still making the holiday desserts!

My grandmother died in December 2010…but had given up cooking a few years before when her eyesight began to fade. Our holiday food has never been the same since; we don’t eat special breads anymore. I’ve tried kolaches from several bakeries, but they are never as good as the ones she made; compared to her soft bread around a large fruit center (apricot and cherry were my favorites), the bakery ones always seem more like hockey pucks.

As children grew up, the types of gifts changed too. In my family, gifts are now trending toward ‘experiences’ rather than ‘stuff.’

One of my sisters and I have given up putting up a tree in the past few years – opting for other decorations like wreaths and ornaments/cards from years past displayed in creative ways. None of us send cards anymore. One sister is having the big gathering her family on New Years this year because of work schedules!

But – we are all enjoying the daily small joys with my parents this December. We are all where we want and need to be.

Merry Christmas to all!

Ramping up Elder Care – December 2024

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My parent came home from the hospital the Wednesday before Thanksgiving...still requiring a lot of care at night which fell to me since I was staying in their house. Both me and my sister remained almost as sleep deprived as when we were alternating 24-hour stints at the hospital! We quickly realized that the strategy that had worked for the caring of our 90+ year old parents over the past few years was not going to work going forward…and the ‘new normal’ we had scrambled to established could not be sustained.

Even sleep deprived – I acknowledged there were magical moments and the joy of not being in the hospital anymore. I appreciated little things like the gentle glow of warm-colored night lights and the full moon shining through a skylight…and every bit of fractured sleep I could get.

Even sleep deprived – I acknowledged there were magical moments and the joy of not being in the hospital anymore. I appreciated little things like the gentle glow of warm-colored night lights and the full moon shining through a skylight…and every bit of fractured sleep I could get.

Before the hospitalization I had made appointments to interview companies that provide in-home caregivers and to visit an assisted living group home. We managed to keep those appointments and decided to contract for a caregiver at night for the month of December; that relieved our sleep deprivation and gave us a few weeks to decide on the ‘next step.’

Our experience with caregivers has been mostly positive but we quickly realized that there would be at least 3 people involved to cover the 7 days each week. So far 2 have not worked out: one that slept through most of the night and another that one parent disliked (strongly). We realized that the care givers rarely work with their peers (so no cross training or collaboration on unusual situations) and supervision was not apparent. The role of the company they work for seems to be primarily scheduling of services. And the services are expensive.

It has enables us to sleep through the night but the days have been fraught with home health appointmentss (nurse visits, physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, virtual doctor visits). There have been two medication changes – both with positive results. My sister and I have gotten very efficient at preparing thickened liquids and appropriately elevating the hospital bed to avoid aspiration of fluid in the lungs of our parent that was hospitalized. Other upheavals have piled on too: Carrollton’s replacement of a sewer line at the edge of the property, a plumbing problem that caused the only bathroom in the house with a door wide enough for a walker to get through to be unusable for about 24 hours, required fall yard maintenance, Thanksgiving celebration…and preparation for Christmas. There is always something that needs to be done that we can’t quite find time to do.

We researched assisted living options…at first thinking that they would be a back up plan but deciding that they should be the 1st choice based on our experience by early December and that the form that would probably be more suited for my parents would be a group home rather than a larger facility. We found one that had been created in a renovated house in their neighborhood for 6 people. We visited the facility and liked it. They had 1 opening at the time. Then they told us that there would be a second opening by the end of December (one of the residents being moved to a facility with a higher level of care) and that the largest room (the one that had been the master bedroom in the original house) was going to be available. We started the application process.

The initial discussion about assisted living and the specific place we were looking at seriously went as expected. One agreed to keep an open mind…the other had a visceral reaction and didn’t want to consider any other option than staying in the house they have lived in for 33 years. We scheduled a visit to the assisted living home…hoping that we could encourage both  parents to be in information gathering mode and ask a lot of questions.

The day of the tour arrived…one parent had already decided that assisted living was the way to go, the other was still thinking it was not. Neither asked questions on the tour but looked around eagerly. One was completely exhausted by the outing but confirmed their idea that moving was best. The other became convinced (and upset) that they were going to be losing the house they called home for 33 years and moving to the assisted living place.

We are proceeding with the process toward assisted living. There are many ways that it could fall apart…but as I write this post we are on track…planning to make the move in January.

Stay tuned for our continuing journey ramping up elder care….

Previous posts: November 2023, November 2023 update

Holiday Decorations

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This December is going to be a unique one for me…away from home….focused on other priorities…somewhat stressed by the situation. I am savoring the decorations two of my sisters arranged at my parents’ house:

The wreath on the door…

The reindeer and poinsettias on the mantle…

The big wreath on the wall…

These are all decorations that have been used in previous years…associated with pleasant memories of past Decembers, prompting us to prepare for celebrating an anniversary, a birthday, and Christmas that are all part of our family celebrations in December. The month has always be an emotional high…and this year there is the overlay of realizing that it is probably the last one for my parents in this house.

2023 in a Carrollton Yard

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My parents’ yard in Carrollton is almost overflowing with plants. They have accumulated over the years. Many of them are from seeds/cuttings/gifts from extended family…my paternal grandmother’s sisters (pink maiden sage), my father’s cousin (a 30+ year old rose bush), my maternal grandparents gardens (cannas), sunflowers that started from a granddaughter’s kindergarten ‘flower in a cup’ project more than 20 years ago, and orange spider lilies that came up in one of my sisters yards when she bought her house more than 30 years ago. One of my sisters does most of the maintenance these days…to the joy of my parents. My dad helps with mowing the yard (this month is more ‘mowing the leaves’ rather than grass)!

The year started out very cold with heavy frost on the first mornings of the year.

The quince blooms early…a splash of color near the fence. The bird feeder attracts birds that can easily be viewed from the garden room. Bulbs and dandelions mark the warming temperatures of spring. The cosmos and red yucca bloom all through the season. The 2023 summer was challenging with a longer than usual period of very hot days with no rain. Some plants survived with the water from sprinklers, but others died back (hopefully will return next spring). The naked lady lilies put up their fonds early then bloom in midsummer. The spider lilies are late bloomers too. The cosmos lasted through most of November. And now in December – the seedpods of red yucca and chives provide texture as the winter begins. We are beginning to see some of the garden ornaments that were buried in foliage previously!

My parents have lived in their house for 33 years and the garden area of the yard has evolved over time. The rose bush purchased for my Grandmother’s 80th birthday in 1992 still blooms in the spring and fall!

Ten Little Celebrations – November 2023

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November has been a more emotional month that usual…there are some little celebrations on my list for the month that seem normal….but others that reflect the rapid changes occurring with one of my parents.

90+ birthday. Both of my parents are approaching their mid-90s and my family tries to celebrate each birthday (realizing that it could be the last). The one that happened in November was celebrated over 3 days to avoid exhausting them both. I got to be there for all three days since I stay in their home when I am in Carrollton.

Birds at the feeder (after we unclogged them). I unclogged bird feeders at both Carrollton and my home in Missouri…celebrated when the birds quickly discovered that the seed was available again.

A cool sunny day. I had grass and leaves to mow…celebrated the sunny afternoon that was not too cold for the activity. It was one of the most enjoyable mowing experiences of the season!

Twigs burned/millet planted. I had other yard work to accomplish as part of fall clean up in my yard and there was an excellent day to get it done. I burned the accumulated twigs (savoring the heat produced) and put the millet seed heads in strategic places so that (maybe) plants will grow next summer. My husband helped me store all the tools that had been out under the deck for quick access during the summer. We both celebrated the completion of our preparations for winter.

A good nap today. I drove from Missouri to Carrollton the day after my parent entered the hospital and immediately went to the hospital to stay with them overnight. My sister arrived the next morning to spend the next 24 hours helping the parent in the hospitals and I managed to drive to my parents’ house….and celebrated another sister being there to fix lunch so that I could nap. I went completely to sleep…got a full 90 minute sleep cycle in 100 minutes….celebrated feeling so much better afterward.

Bluebird at Josey Ranch. Seeing the bluebird at Josey Ranch was a boost to my mental outlook. I celebrated that I was savvy enough to know that nature often does that for me…and to stop at Josey Ranch on my way from the hospital to my parents’ house.

A parent coming home from the hospital. The sunrise I noticed at the hospital was a good start on the day my parent was projected to come home from the hospital. I celebrated the beauty at the beginning of the day…glad that the homecoming occurred later in the day.

The home health nurse coming for a 1st visit. I celebrated that we got a visit from the home health nurse on the Friday after Thanksgiving (i.e. we didn’t have to wait for the week after Thanksgiving)!

The time I have with my parents now….being in the present. I celebrate the time I am having with both parents now. Appreciating joys in every day shared with them.

Thanksgiving. The holiday was very different this year. I spent it with my parents and having various family bring special foods throughout the weekend rather than one huge meal. Gratitude is integrated with all my other emotions right now…and I celebrate that it is. It makes everything else easier.

Hospital Thoughts

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Supporting someone in the hospital is high stress…but there is a lot of waiting that allows for contemplation as well. The blog post is gleaned from those quiet times between flurries of activity/trauma when my parent was in the hospital.

Observing medical professions – techs of various kinds, nurses, doctors – is always a learning experience. Going into learning mode is a better way to engage than adversarial….and expressing appreciation helps everyone through a difficult time.

There is art in the most public areas of the hospital…and I always notice it…realize that I appreciate the snippets of beauty/uniqueness along the way in and out of the hospital that can, momentarily, distract me from the stress of the place.

The view from the hospital room is also a distraction. This time it included a helipad! My sister saw one land during the night (mostly heard it rather than saw it) but then I got to see one land the next afternoon. It was the big excitement of the afternoon…and that was a good thing.

Another view from the window included curves of the drive into the hospital and a major intersection near the hospital. The open area is  appreciated since the hospital itself is a cluster of buildings and parking garages. It’s a big place. I figured out my route to my parent’s room and didn’t deviate!

Along the walk to and from the closest parking garage, there is a wall that reminded me of a Zentangle mosaic….and I made quite a few tiles during the waiting time at the hospital.

The up and down of the day at the hospital always seems more extreme that a normal day. I found that I never quite relaxed as much as I do during a normal day…but didn’t get any physically intense time….it was all mentally intense.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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I had big plans for Thanksgiving at my home in Missouri – sharing a meal with my daughter and son-in-law. The planned menu was: pumpkin soup, balsamic vinaigrette baked chicken, sauteed green beans with sesame seeds, spicy cornbread (with cheese and whole kernel corn), apple cranberry crisp. With everyone contributing some part of the feast (but all cooked in my kitchen).

But the plan was overtaken by the reality of a parent in a Texas hospital and them coming home just in time for the holiday. The change has only made my thanksgiving more profound this year; I am thankful that my parent survived a near death event more than a decade ago – there are so many wonderful shared memories of those years! And we’ll savor whatever new memories we can make this Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving to us all.

Ramping up Elder Care – November 2023 (update)

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My sisters and I thought we had time to learn about various options at a comfortable pace and then ramp up support for our parents in a targeted way over the next few months. We ordered two cameras to install in their home and made appointments to meet with two service providers for the next time I was in Carrollton – but that plan changed quickly when one of my parents entered the hospital.

I went to Carrollton early - entering 24-hour rotations with one of my sisters to support my parent in the hospital. My other two sisters and my daughter handled things at my parents’ house (it is traumatic for two elderly people married over 70 years to be separated for even short periods).

We learned a lot during the hospitalization about changes we need to make to avoid aspiration of liquid into the lungs (i.e. thickening of ALL liquids to honey consistency is now required). Previously some liquids had been thickened to a lesser amount (nectar) but water was unthickened….and now even that will have to be thickened. But – the reward is no coughing while (and after) eating or drinking!!!!

Small anomalies can make big impacts…low potassium and dehydration were two that our parent experienced. And the associated weakness/dizziness curtailed almost all physical activity for a little over 24 hours which required some slow increase of activity on the following days to get back to ‘normal’…and maybe that was a ‘new normal’ that was a little reduced from the prior normal.

Two cameras were installed and we used them along with virtual meetings to help our parents talk to each between physical visits. We decided a third camera would be worthwhile, so it was ordered.

We quickly established a contingency sleeping arrangement in case the hospitalized parent required more support at night immediately after coming home from the hospital.  The room includes a twin bed with plenty of room for a caregiver to move around….and for extra equipment. We are anticipating that ambulation will need to be monitored/supported (i.e. a belt around our parent … a caregiver with a hand on it) during their recuperation until we are sure the fall risk is minimal.

As I write this, our parent is still in the hospital but due to go home within 24 hours. We hope we have ramped up our support plan sufficiently.

Stay tuned for the next installment of Ramping up Elder Care!

Previous posts: November 2023

Ramping up Elder Care – November 2023

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My sisters and I realized earlier this month that we need to ramp up the support provided to my parents and the needs were quickly going to exceed what the 4 of us could provide. We had tweaked the situation over the past few years in significant ways: they no long drove themselves, their doctor/labs were mostly done in their home, one of us was with them every day providing at least one meal and their refrigerator/pantry was kept well stocked, there was always a pile of jigsaw puzzles, my dad carried a smartphone on his rambling walks so we could locate him (fortunately he never got lost), they both wore fall necklaces, and we set up a voice activated system for reminders/calls for help. They might not need someone with them 24/7…but we are seeing that it might not be that long before they do.

And so – a new adventure begins…

Our first action was to contact their doctor for a virtual meeting about ‘improving support to our parents.’ The doctor also brought a social worker to the meeting. We documented our observations…why we thought more was needed. It was a very productive meeting with some things we could do immediately (like adding some cameras to the home) and a list of services available in the community.

We started with the idea that we wanted to keep them in their own home with support from private care providers to supplement what we do but quickly realized that we should explore assisted living (particularly small, home-like facilities) as well.

Stay tuned for what we learn over the next month!

Ten Little Celebrations – October 2023

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Continuing deeper into fall…celebrating the seasonal changes!

Fall days – sunny and cool. A great time of year to get outdoors…perfect temperatures and blasts of color.

American White Pelicans. Seen in two places: Hagerman National Wildlife Refuge (Texas) and Sequoyah State Park (Oklahoma). It’s migration time. These are big birds that are fun to watch on the water and in the air. I always celebrate seeing them.

Apple Crisp. One of my favorite ways to use the fall apple harvest. It’s a little splurge on my diet…but well worth it.

First chili of the season. Another seasonal favorite.

Getting registered for an early winter birding festival. We signed in on the first day of registration and found that one of the sessions we wanted was already full; we picked an alternative and celebrated our itinerary when the registration process was complete. We are anticipating a wonderful week in December!

Butterflies and milkweed at Lake Springfield boathouse. Migrating monarchs and pipevine butterflies on thistles….milkweed seeds spilling out of pods…some favorite fall sightings.

Successful cleanup of my daughter’s fall yard (part 1). This is the second year I have offered to help my daughter do some fall yard cleanup. Our first work session was in October this year. I celebrated how much we got done in just few hours….we work well together! I am anticipating a second session in November.

Virginia creeper turned red. I let the Virginia Creeper grow in my front flower bed…spill over the low rock wall….and am celebrating that it has now turned red! Hurray for native plant fall colors!

Miniature pumpkin harvest. I was pleasantly surprised that my miniature pumpkin vines produced lots of pumpkins. As I harvested them, I celebrated the season…and the natural decorations for my breakfast table.

Company and fall cleaning. I had company twice during October and am celebrating their visits AND that the visits acted as an incentive to get my house cleaner and picked up going into the coming holiday season.

Community Supported Agriculture (2)

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Acclimating myself to being a CSA member (Milsap Farms) again is still a work in progress!

The third week, I was out of town; my husband took the whole distribution to my daughter: watermelon, kale, green beans, cucumber, bell peppers, zucchini, and mixed greens.

My son-in-law cut up the watermelon in wedges and we got half of it when I got back. My daughter also decided that she didn’t have an immediate use for zucchini, so I enjoyed that unexpected bounty too. What a difference it makes to have my daughter close enough to handle the share when I am gone! This probably cinches our continued participation next year; the only question still outstanding is whether we go with a full share or the smaller one that we are getting for the remainder of this season.

The fourth week we split down the middle except for the sweet potato leaves which I have for myself. Each of us got 2 carrots, a garlic head, 2 bell peppers, half the scallions, and half the bag of basil.

I am anticipating some excellent salads and then freezing any basil or sweet potato leaves I can’t use soon enough. Once frozen they can be used in smoothies or soups/stir fry. I didn’t have an extra freezer in my Maryland house; now that I do in Missouri, I have lots of options!

Northern Pacific Railroad eBooks from 1880s

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The eBooks of the week are from a railroad company in the 1880s…illustrating some of its routes. They provide a view of some special places of the time – when the west was still somewhat ‘wild’ but developing rapidly with the extension of railroads and more people coming. Enjoying browsing these books on Internet Archive!

The Wonderland route to the Pacific coast (1885)

 I think about where my ancestors were at the time these books were published. One side of the family was still in Bohemia (Europe) – not emigrating to the US until a decade later. The other side was already in the US and mostly in Missouri.

Collecting Puzzles

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One of my parents’ favorite challenges is a new puzzle. That dominoes into a challenge for my sisters and I to keep them supplied! August has been a good month for collecting puzzles after they completed the previous pile (i.e. ran out of puzzles they had not done before)!

One of my sisters ordered 3 from eBay. They like the 500 piece puzzles the best but appreciate an ‘easy’ one (300 piece) occasionally.

I bought 5 puzzles when I had a coupon that got the price down to about $8 each. There are two 1,000-piece puzzles in this group which could be hard for them but there are a lot of helpful clues in the map puzzles. They’ve enjoyed this brand of puzzles previously.

My daughter visited the Gateway National Park in St. Louis and bought a puzzle for her grandparents. It is an unusual one: the box is triangular, and the pieces have a back and front (i.e. it is two puzzles in one…Gateway Arch views from the Mississippi at night and from the city during the day). There are 500 pieces...hopefully not too challenging.

My local library branch had a Friends of the Library sale that included puzzles! I bought 12. They were $2 each….a good deal! There are two more sales this fall that are close enough to me; I’ll be collecting enough puzzles to keep them busy until April when the next sale is scheduled!

A Funeral and a Garden (2)

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Funerals offer a sense of closure…the end of a relationship. They are thought provoking too. I found myself savoring memories – thinking:

  • Of his career as it happened and then as I learned more about it over the years,

  • Of his role as a father to his daughter that was my age as well as his other children, a husband (and later caregiver) to his wife,

  • Of his growing tomatoes and catching huge catfish,

  • Of trips to state parks, amusement parks, and church camp, and

  • Of assistance making bug catching nets.

At the funeral I learned more about his love of golf and table games (dominos and cards) than I had witnessed in my growing up years.

The OSU Botanical Garden was a good place to continue my reflections on the lives of my father and his friend over the past 70 years – how the relationship was sustained.

There were unique ornaments in the garden. I wondered if the university’s art department had created some of them – the large metal botanical sculptures, the plates/bowls ‘flowers,’ and the standing frames that held pots or boxes of flowers. There was a garden chess set and a child sized table with chairs. There was a Japanese garden area with stone lanterns/frog house, large rocks, and small red bridge.

There were frequent water sounds from burbling fountains (sometimes rocks). Even the hose containers were decorated.

There were insects in the garden too – sometimes two in the same flower!

There were quite a few white-lined sphinx moths in the salvia. They were moving too fast for good pictures – although good-enough for identification!

My early morning hour in the garden was a good ending to the funeral thoughts before I started the 4-hour drive home.

A Funeral and a Garden (1)

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My father’s best friend in college died a few weeks ago and I made the 4-hour drive to attend his funeral – representing our family since my father is too frail to travel now. The two men were born within a few weeks of each other and spent their early years on farms in western Oklahoma before becoming the first generation of their families to go off to college. They were too young to have participated in World War II but benefited from the influx of veterans using the GI Bill that had caused many universities to expand. They both married and graduated and had their first children at about the same time – didn’t get drafted for the Korean War. They never lived in the same town after college, but they and their families continued to exchange visits and telephone calls for almost 70 years!

The next morning, I got up early and went to the Oklahoma State University Botanical Garden before I headed for home. A garden visit is always a good start to the day. This one is not large and, unlike many botanical gardens, does not include identifying signage for most of the plants. It was a cloudy morning…before the heat of the day began ramping up. The garden smells were a rich mix!